Why is it that I have such an issue with procrastination lately? That’s certainly quite a stumbling block for an aspiring writer, one that I shall now expertly par off onto my general surroundings for being so mind-numbingly tedious. And whenever anything interesting happens, I tend to find myself sighing so heavily at the stupidity of the situation that I’m sure I risk exhaling all of the oxygen out of my brain. Is that possible? No, you say? OK then, pay closer attention the this whole Oscar Pistorius business, take in all the available information and try to tell me again that it’s not possible to at least facepalm yourself into a coma.
If you’re not aware, Oscar Pistorius is a Paralympic ‘hero’ who is on trial for shooting his girlfriend an absurd amount of times, then claiming he mistook her for a burglar. How much of an idiot do you have to be to think that you could ever explain away shooting someone multiple times, even if the guy was an intruder? I think the only thing that could make the situation worse for yourself is if, oh, I don’t know, you did something absurd such as destroying a locked door to get to said intruder moments after your girlfriend had hastily left the room you were both in, presumably to flee from you. Oh wait, that happened?
No worries. Surely you can neatly side-step that fact and make it out to be a coincidence. Forget about the several cases of domestic violence you were already involved in, they certainly don’t matter. Or do they? Well apparently they do, because no-one believes you, Mr Pistorius. I don’t want to go on record as outright saying you were lying, because believe me when I say I don’t want it to be true, but the situation certainly looks bleak for you.
Well, it would perhaps look more bleak if it weren’t for the latest scandal. As it happens, the chief officer in charge of the case is about to go on trial himself for seven cases of manslaughter. And the best part is, the officer stepping in to replace him has never even visited the crime scene. So even if Mr Pistorius is guilty (and that is still an if, albeit a small one), he might still get away with it on the grounds of police incompetence. Either that or a lot of what we’ve been told is complete and utter nonsense spouted by a jealous man who doesn’t want to go down without taking someone with him, which is the possibility I’m clinging onto here.
Oh look, I’ve acknowledged something completely absurd. I didn’t go into this post intending to write about that – I was in fact going to write about that mother of 11 who is basically taking the entire of Britain for a bunch of mugs, but it would appear I’ve gotten sidetracked. I might write a commentary on that at some point, if I haven’t breathed of face-slapped myself to death anytime soon.