I know this is old news by now, but in case you somehow weren’t aware, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift are a thing of the past. Who didn’t see that one coming, eh?
Their ‘whirlwind romance’ (a thing so common the tabloids actually gave it a dramatic label) swept us by so fast, no one was able to come up with one of those moronic celebrity-couple-nicknames (‘brangelina’, to cite the only example I care to consider) everyone seems to love so much. As I mentioned the last time I took notice of these utter fools, this sort of popularity abuse has an immediate and devastating effect on the intelligence levels of today’s youth.
What’s even more shocking than the whole debacle that was their relationship is how the two have reacted to the ‘explosive’ breakup (yet more ridiculously melodramatic terminology for such a common occurrence – Why is this necessary?). Harry immediately threw his whiny ass at the first bint who’d pay attention to him, while Taylor bawled and lamented all the way home (and presumably straight into the ol’ recording studio). So basically, they handled the situation as maturely as ever, and kept the whole situation very much on the down-low.
As much as I weep for this generation for caring about people like this at all, and for myself for spending valuable time typing this on a phone with predictive text so infuriating it rivals my disdain for this entire subject, my heart tenderly goes out to Miss Swift’s steadfast and unwavering recording equipment, for all of the countless hours they’ve heroically endured her insufferable whinging about a problem which is 99% her own fault. Spare a thought for them while you consider this whole sham.