It’s very uncharacteristic of me to look twice at a celebrity relationship because, let’s be honest, why should I care? I’m not them, they’re not me, their problems aren’t mine, and most of the time, it’s doomed to failure anyway. They appear to be mostly media stunts which invariably cave in on their own lack of moral foundations, which generally solicits a blasé or badly acted, overly depressed attitude from the affected parties due to there being no actual emotion involved, which in turn teaches young’uns that it’s normal, even acceptable to be so indifferent about relationships, which leads to everyone under the age of 20 sharing the same ridiculous nonchalant attitude and stupid notion that looks are of paramount importance, which leads to more incessant whining about problems which could have easily been avoided with a little common sense, etc, etc…
Basically, I’m very bitter about celebrity relationships. So it’s unsurprisingly surprising that I would take any level of interest in the relationship between Harry Styles of One Direction fame (if you haven’t heard of him,
you’ve been living under a rock you’re a very fortunate person) and his latest venture, Country singer Taylor Swift. Why, you ask? Well, because it seems to actually be going rather swimmingly, despite all the evidence suggesting that this relationship simply shouldn’t work.
First of all, anyone who’s ever heard of Taylor Swift knows that while her music is pretty good (well, some of it is), she isn’t very good at picking new and diverse themes. Each and every one is, in one way or another, about a guy she broke up with, or a guy she wants to get with but can’t because he doesn’t like her for some obscure reason (which in itself is absurd, because she’s ridiculously hot, and for most young people that’s really all that matters (I wonder why? Hmm…)). With this evidence, we can deduce that Miss Swift has made some pretty terrible decisions love-life-wise, and is not exactly a relationship guru.
Then, there’s the vastly over-documented fact that Harry Styles is complete misogynistic man-whore. He’s adorned the tabloid front pages all year for jumping from victim to poor unfortunate sap, mere weeks, even days separating each. And this is before we mention his notorious ‘fling’ with Caroline Flack, who is easily twice his age and should know better (then again, she’s now ‘dating’ the latest X Factor pre-career sell-out James whatsisface, so perhaps ol’ Harold isn’t entirely to blame here), and that one time when he admitted to bedding his mate’s mum, because he’s obviously such a wonderful friend to have.
Despite this though, things seem to be working out for them. And I’m glad for them – no really, I am. I’m being as sincere as I possibly can right now.
Although I can’t wait for Taylor Swift’s new song. I wonder when it’ll be released? And I wonder what she’ll write it about this time? I’m on the edge of my seat!