“The Game Of Life” is a massive scale role playing game, currently played by approximately 7 billion people worldwide. The object of the game is entirely up to you; some players work towards fame and fortune, some work towards being as happy as they can be, some play with the goal of being as selfless as possible, while others prefer to consider only how each move they make will benefit them. Some people even think the object of the game is to spend the duration trying to figure out the object of the game – it’s entirely up to the player.
What will YOU do?
How to play
You will need:
- to exist
- some friends (optional)
At the start of the game, you’ll be thrown directly into tutorial mode. At this stage, you’ll depend entirely on other players in order to survive or move around. You won’t have the option to choose for yourself, this comes with time. Until then, you simply have to go with the flow and learn what you can.
Over time, you’ll start to mobilise a little bit. When this happens, it is your first opportunity to get to grips with the controls; this takes time. Dexterity takes a good while and lots of practise to master, but everyone gets it eventually. Take this opportunity to make as much noise and cause as much destruction as possible; it’s the only time in the game where it is acceptable. It is only the tutorial after all, so get it out of your system.
Most players will completely ignore this last suggestion as they move gradually into the “idiot” stage (also referred to as “childhood”). They will continue to make noise and cause destruction, but at this point with a much better grasp of language and dexterity. Don’t do this. It will irritate the other players around you no end. They may pretend to still “love” you, while in reality, they’ll want to throw you out of the nearest window. This would not be a great way to start the game.
As the tutorial levels continue (they last about 16-18 years in most instances), you will start school. You will learn little, but think you know a lot. This is normal. Take the incredibly moronic decisions you’ll make for the next 13 years or so as life lessons.
During these long and arduous years, you’ll progress gracefully from and idiot into an even bigger idiot. You will say and do even more stupid and ludicrous things and continue to think you know it all, only this time with a much bigger sense of self-importance. Take these as life lessons as well, but while in the “even bigger idiot” stage, you might find it beneficial to pretend that you have a total grasp of the concept of life and how difficult it can be, and you may even want independence. Try not to actually go through with your threats to move out and become independent though, you will not survive for very long. Besides, threatening someone else who’s probably sick to death of the sight of you anyway is a bit of a hollow threat.
Eventually, you’ll move out of the idiot stage entirely. Depending on what you learned from your ineptitude and immense stupidity during these years, you may blossom triumphantly into an adult. This will mean you will be as wise as you thought you always were and you’ll have the best opportunities of all to continue. The game from this point on will open out, and you will successfully be able to play the game in whatever way you please. The challenge will be to gather resources and find your place in the game, but once you do, you will experience The Game Of Life to the full. Will you be an adrenaline junkie, or will you prefer a softer, more relaxed approach? The choice is yours.
Unfortunately, some people never really leave the idiot stage. They simply develop into a fully grown imbecile and continue on with that heightened sense of self-importance, thriving by sapping all sense of moral and intellectual value from their surroundings. These players are the ones who have lost but refuse to just end the game entirely. Instead they feel intent to blame everyone else in sight for their insurmountable failures and spread their parasitic virus as much as possible, while under the sad delusion they are better than everyone else. Truly noble players might want to sacrifice their game time stamping out these insects as much as possible, but you can continue quite safely if you just leave them to “expire” in their own time.
You might also become something in between the two, with the wisdom and potential power of an adult mixed with the idiocy and holier-than-thou attitude of an imbecile. These people are politicians, and if allowed can cause terrible damage that affects everyone (except other politicians, of course). The aim of the game for them is to screw everyone else over and become as powerful as possible.
So, which path will you take? The Game Of Life – the ultimate sandbox game where everyone loses.
– Created by “anonymous”