What makes a good song lyric? Memorability? Artistic value? Or the first thing that rolled off the songwriter’s head in their delusion that they’re creating a work of art while off their face on all manner of unidentifiable narcotics? Well, I always thought it was artistic value that was most important, but after some of the songs I’ve heard lately, apparently I was wrong.
Here, I’ve compiled a small list of the 5 song lyrics which irritate me most. Some are recent, some are fairly old, all irritate me endlessly. So, without further ado, here is my…
Top 5 Worst Song Lyrics
- At number 5: “I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian / Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian” – Balla Baby by Chingy. I heard this one some time ago, and this line in particular stuck in my mind. “Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian”. Seriously? For anyone who doesn’t know, Japan and China are both Asian countries. It’s ok not knowing that, but if you’re going to include it in a song, you should at least have the foresight to make sure you’re not making a fatal mistake. Remember, neglecting to check your facts can result in you being part of a list like this.
- Number 4: “Everybody was Kung Fu fighting / Those cats were fast as lightening / In fact it was a little bit frightening / But they fought with expert timing” – Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas. Everyone knows this song. It’s a classic. That’s probably because of it’s ridiculous lyrical theme, because this particular line beggars belief. Why did he write this? What was happening in his head? More importantly, what was going on in everyone else’s head for this to become so popular? Granted, it has a catchy tune, but is that really all that matters? Pure insanity.
- In at number 3: “Before you came into my life I missed you so bad” – Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. I’ve listened to this song so many hundreds of times completely against my will. The song itself, while still a little irritating, is starting to grow on me a little, I’m almost ashamed to admit… However, this particular line will never stop annoying me. I know it’s a minor niggle to most, but to me, hearing it is like listening to someone scrape a chalkboard with a rusty nail. How can you miss someone before they came into your life? How? It’s not possible. It makes no sense. It sounds like it was added entirely on the basis that it has enough syllables – which is not a valid reason.
- Number 2: “Kickin’ in the front seat / Sittin’ in the back seat / Gotta make my mind up / Which seat can I take?” – Friday by Rebecca Black. I think most people will agree with me here, this song is a total abomination. It’s probably the best thing that ever happened to Justin Bieber though, being the only song that was widely considered worse than his hit “Baby”. It completely took all the negative attention away from him, at least for a short while, with its consistent pointless lyrical themes and her atrocious singing ability. I hope for her sake she at least didn’t write the song herself, because at least then she could blame someone else for thinking this was a good concept for a smash hit. It isn’t. There’s nothing intellectual about any of the lyrics. These ones are the very worst in my personal opinion. Which seat can you take? Allow me to make your mind up for you. Take a seat next to all the other hopeless wannabes who only want to get their name heard. Fame is not always a good thing.
- And at number 1: “Well I go down the supermarket / With me basket in me hand / I’m walking from one counter to another / Trying to find the bread stall / But I can’t find it anywhere / And then I bump into a mother / With a baby in a basket / And she says / ‘Oh look, you’ve started him off again / I come down here for a little bit of peace and quiet / To get some bread to go home to make toast / Just toast / I like toast’ / Yeah, but I don’t half like toast” – Toast by Paul Young. This guy must really like toast. It’s a whole song about how great toast is. I could easily quote the entire song here, it’s just ridiculous. But there’s something about this line in particular that just makes my head spin. Even the mother likes toast as much as he does. This is a person who thought taking a baby into a supermarket would be a peaceful experience. That alone is ludicrous. But of all the people to bump into, why would it just so happen to be a like minded toast-lover like himself? It just makes me wonder… Why is this a song? What possessed him to write this? I can only assume he had serious munchies and couldn’t stop thinking about toast. There’s no reason at all why anyone would make this song if they weren’t higher than a kite on serious reefer. It’s so strange, it’s almost brilliant.